Weddings

The Flower and the Donkey: Russian Cupid’s Arrow Leads to Marriage

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A few days ago, I had the great pleasure of officiating the wedding of Luc and Galina, my first wedding of 2017. The couple’s story is somewhat unique. Luc is French-Canadian, from Montreal, and Galina is Russian, from Moscow. On a whim, Luc decided to check out an internet dating site called “Russian Cupid”, and there he met Galina. Cupid’s arrow created an immediate spark. And it wasn’t because there were no one else interested. In fact, Luc got applications from around 300 women, but there was no one else like Galina. She and Luc are both middle-aged and mature, and she was the only one that he sensed would love him for who he is, not as someone to be used to get a ticket out of Russia. With Galina, it didn’t feel like something selfish or an infatuation, but rather a sincere friendship with the main purpose of wanting the other to be happy. Yes, there was an immediate spark, but it was the experience of a deep and loving friendship that was the glue between them. Their courtship, over nearly two years, included frequent Skype calls, even cooking together via Skype, spending time together in Moscow, and eventually meeting again in New York City, where, on the observation deck of the Empire State Building, they became engaged.

Now some might wonder, did they rush into it? Some might insist they should have spent more time being together in person, perhaps living together, before making the marriage commitment. The reality is that there are no absolute rules that, if followed, will guarantee success, certainly not in terms of time and distance. Human relationship don’t quite work that neatly. As a counselor and officiant with couples, I am always looking for the glue, the energy, that More

The Marriage of a Family – Roots Intertwining and Fusing into One

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These days, for two people getting married, it is not at all unusual that one or both of them have been married before and have children. So, oftentimes now, it is not just the couple joining their lives together in marriage, but also it’s a joining of their families, their children, together. In a sense, it is the whole family getting married. At a wedding I officiated last Saturday, near Albany NY, the bride and groom married each other AND the bride’s three young children. As part of the ceremony, they asked me to share this story:

“Along the California coast, there lives a community of sequoia trees, some reaching over 350 feet into the air. Some of these giants are over 2000 years old, unscathed by wind and rain, storms, hurricanes, earthquakes, and fires. But how? How do they survive all this fury? One would think it must be the depth of their roots or perhaps their brute strength and solidarity. Actually, it is quite the opposite. The roots of a 250-foot tall sequoia are a mere 5 feet deep. 5 feet! Instead of growing down into the earth to find the sustenance they need, they grow out – up to 50 feet, in search of one another. When they find each other, their roots intertwine and they fuse into one – supporting, strengthening – an entire network of roots, spreading far and wide, holding each other, sharing with each other – their lives becoming one so that each magnificent tree can not only grow but thrive – reaching its branches high to the sun.

And so it is with this family today. We join our hands and our hearts, becoming an intertwined network of strength, support, of LOVE, surrounding and supporting, nourishing and growing together as family, facing the storms of life, More

A Wedding in our Living Room

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As noted on the Weddings page, the home and property in West Windsor, Vermont, that I share with my wife Helen, is also a place where couples can get married. While it is quite lovely to tie the knot outside, under our beautiful arch amidst the trees when the weather permits, we also have a charming indoor venue for when it is cold or rainy. A local couple had asked me to officiate their wedding last Sunday in nearby Paradise Park, in the town of Windsor. But when the day dawned windy, cold, and damp, we made a quick switch to have the ceremony…in our living room, in front of our fireplace. It was quite simple, because there was only the bride and groom themselves, plus a photographer. No guests.img_2464

In harmony with the couple’s Christian faith, the ceremony included the famous passage about love, from the Bible – from Corinthians, chapter 13 (Excerpt)

“If I speak in tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love… I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love…I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body, but do not have love…I gain nothing.”

The passage continues: “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” More

Unity Cross Ritual – Joining and Held Together by God

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At a wedding I officiated last Saturday on a beautiful hilltop in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, the couple chose to include the Christian ritual of the Unity Cross. Signifying the wedding covenant, the Unity Cross is a lasting reminder of the Bride and Groom coming together with their faith in Christ, beginning their Life long journey as One. In this ritual, the couple assembles the Unity Cross, putting several pieces together, to create a beautiful sculpture of their life together.

Traditionally, the outer form of the Unity Cross represents the strength, leadership, and protection of the man (or one spouse of a same sex couple). The inner piece of the Unity Cross is the bride’s piece and represents the beauty and the many capabilities of the woman (or one spouse of a same sex couple), designed with intricate, beautiful detail and is placed inside the protection of the groom’s cross, completing the sculpture and representing the Two Becoming One. To complete this sculpture of the couple’s covenant, three pegs are placed inside to hold it together. These pegs represent the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, showing God’s place in this covenant and the security and completeness that, in Christian tradition, only the Heavenly Father can give.img_3714

 In the Bible, in Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4, it says:

 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

And, in Matthew, Chapter 19, it says, “…the two will become one flesh…Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Wiccan Wedding

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Last Saturday, I was honored to officiate the wedding of a Wiccan couple in New Hampshire. Wicca is a contemporary Pagan religion which, like many other nature-based spirituality faiths, is pantheistic, meaning that the Divine is seen as everywhere and in everything. The couple chose to get married at the end of October because it is the time of the ancient celebration of Samhain (pronounced “Sah-win”), observed by Pagans and others around the world. It marks the end of the harvest and the start of the coldest half of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere), and some consider it to be a “spiritual new year”. It is also the time when we honor and remember our ancestors, because it is believed that Samhain is when the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is at its thinnest.In addition to common features such as vows, exchange of rings, pronouncement, and kiss, this wedding incorporated many Wiccan traditions, beginning with all the guests in a circle around the couple, and included the following:

img_3536Casting the circle (creating sacred space) “I ask the God and Goddess, Guardian Angels and Spirit Guides to bless this circle. Come, come and be present with us, so that we may be free and protected within this space. So mote it be.”

Purification – This involves releasing negative thoughts and energies from within, via Native American ritual of smudging each person with sage (burning the dried herb then spreading the smoke over and around each person.) While being smudged, on each in-breath people visualize pure divine light coming in through their crown, and on out-breathe, they visualize thoughts, feeling, or energy being released out the soles of their feet. More

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