Recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt stabs of existential terror, that I was no longer safe in my own country, the United States. It had been a couple of weeks since Trump was inaugurated, and began exercising raw overwhelming power that no one seems to be able to stop. Already things were happening that had seemed unimaginable before- such as mass deportations, targeting of vulnerable groups, and the radical takeover of federal government agencies leading to firings of inspectors general and intrusion into citizen’s private data. Yes, the rhetoric and plans were already out there, but now it’s all happening, and in a very callous way. Folks are suffering from it.
Like many people, I comforted myself with the belief that “it can’t happen here.” Right? I mean, who would even dare to do these things, and even if so, our democracy (however imperfect) would protect us, the checks and balances in our system won’t allow these abuses to go anywhere, and in the last instance, there would be enormous resistance.
But that didn’t feel true at all as I lay there that night. Even now, it seems that the main reaction so far to what is being described as a hostile power grab by Trump & friends has been fear, apathy, and helplessness from our political structures, representatives, and the public. The underlying mentality seems to be passivity, that resistance is futile; that in order to survive most people will keep their head down, not make waves, and just go along with it, hoping they won’t become a target. And that very few people will risk getting into trouble by standing up for others who are already in trouble.
The existential terror I felt that night, I have been through before, for thousands of years. The terror springs forth from that deep inner well of my Jewish heritage, from the historical, transgenerational trauma my ancestors suffered, most recently from the Holocaust, in whose shadow I grew up. I felt deeply vulnerable and afraid. I cowered in bed for the rest of that sleepless night.
Eventually, the night fell away, and I stood up out of bed. And now it seems that more and more people are standing up to what Trump is doing. The response seems to be slowly changing. Many of those directly affected are resisting, there are stirrings of public protest, and some courts are pushing back.
How it will all turn out, of course nobody knows. What is clear to me is that all those who don’t like what’s going on have to continue to stand up STRONGLY and refuse to go along. And that will likely mean facing our inner demons and historical traumas, not to mention the reaction of those who don’t want to rock the boat or are fine with what’s going on. It also means speaking up LOUDLY for what we want and don’t want. And getting involved in various activities to stop the slide toward authoritarian rule.
That is my political perspective on what’s going on, and some of you reading this may disagree. But this post is not really about politics, political activism, the boundaries of executive power, or the merits of specific policy goals. It’s not about Trump, nor about existential terrors. Rather, this is a plea for compassion – for those experiencing hardship as the targets of recent presidential decisions, and for anyone, on any side, we may label as “other”, as “enemy.” Compassion for all of us – to feel the suffering and struggles of another and doing what we can to relieve it. This is a plea for all of us to keep our hearts open to everyone, no matter how much we disagree or find odious what some have done or believe.
Keeping our hearts open to everyone means caring about others, caring enough to at least listen to their story, to their life experience, to their dreams and passions, to be willing to engage with them, and be open to whatever connection or common ground might emerge. At the very least, to see them as fellow human beings deserving of respect. It may sound naïve or woo woo, especially in these times, but try doing it anyway, and see if something shifts in them or you.
There are many approaches out there to engage constructively with those we disagree with and begin to build relationships. One of these is called “Conversation Circle” and I’ll be facilitating one of these circles beginning in March next month. Click here for details.
In the meantime, stand up and speak up, acknowledge any fears you have and keep going. Know that you are not alone.
