Chaplaincy Care

For those ill or struggling in body, mind, or spirit

Being mortal, our bodies are imperfect and, sooner or later, many of us get sick or incapacitated, and need medical care. When we experience physical illness and limitation, whether short- or long-term, having someone there to care, to listen, to companion, to love and accept us just as we are, can be tremendously comforting and healing. We are less alone, and perhaps we can find hope and meaning.

This is the essence of Rev Gary’s chaplain work in hospitals, convalescent and long-term care centers, and in homes. His chaplain visits help people share who they are; create more comfort with being, emotions, and vulnerabilities; face pain and suffering; ponder difficult existential questions and explore one’s relationship with the Divine; uncover joy and even laugh ourselves silly. Through various ways, such as prayers, reading, breathing, humor, simple chatting, and, above all, compassionate empathic listening, he offers a caring presence, calming spirit, open heart, gentle encouragement, and guidance based on the person’s own faith path and challenges, to support those unwell to experience whatever they need to within.

This can help the person reduce fear and confusion, see themselves as more than their illness, and strengthen healing reserves. Rev. Gary also is there to facilitate communication and help problem-solve with staff and family, if needed. But sometimes all that is needed is a reassuring squeeze of the hand, giving a glass of water, or changing the TV channel.

Depending on the person and the situation, many things can be comforting and healing. So time commitment also varies, and Rev. Gary can be available ranging from 5 minutes to 5 hours, or more.

The key is always good listening, which involves being fully present, paying attention, acknowledging, and asking questions to deepen the connection. Or just sit quietly, and let wonder unfold.

Care for the Caregiver

Helping and attending to others – to their physical, emotional, spiritual or religious needs – is often intense, demanding work that can affect the well-being of those doing it. As humans, we resonate with each other on many levels. That’s why working closely with the pain and suffering of others can bring pain and suffering to our own bodies, minds, hearts, and souls, in ways both subtle and obvious. Caregivers such as family members, doctors, nurses, psychologists, care facility and home attendants, police, firefighters, and other first responders are very susceptible to what is sometimes called secondary trauma or counter-transference, and which can often manifest as stress and burnout.

Rev. Gary’s chaplain work also includes support and comfort for these amazing, yet vulnerable people who care for others. “Care for the Caregiver” work is grounded in loving presence and compassionate listening, but goes further into self- and group-care and personal transformation. We explore more deeply how we see ourselves, how our caring for others affects us, what resources we can summon and what resiliency we can build – not just to take better care of ourselves but to grow in our caring capacity and as human beings overall.

In his work with caregivers – whether private sessions with an individual, in occupational groups, or in workshop format – Rev. Gary’s approach is one of self-reflection and awareness-building, developing strategies and taking action. Caregivers are asked to explore and address some or all of the following:

• Motivation, influences, and formative experiences – what brought them to the work initially and what drives them to do it now
• What is working well – what or who they most appreciate and find most rewarding
• Challenges and struggles (examples: self-doubt and fear of failure; need for control, recognition and approval; arrogance; impatience; cultural judgments; balancing work and family; teamwork, supervisors, overwork) – connecting and making peace with them, or letting them go.
• Connection between vision of work versus the reality of it, then understanding and dealing with any gaps between these.
• Seeing and living in their total self, not just in work role; being seen by others
• Deepening personal vision, and creating one’s future
• Living their values and beliefs in their everyday lives (both at home and work) – especially with relationships and dealing with conflict
• Activities, relationships, and support – current and desired – to address challenges, and nourish and sustain oneself in their work. (Examples: walking meditation, massage, stretching and breathing, dancing, spiritual buddy, journaling, laughing, and work support groups.)
• Making – and following through – on commitments for self- and group-care; next steps